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solitude

Solitude.  loneliness.  Silence.  Stillness.  Tranquility. 

Can I just make a blunt remark?  I absolutely love and hold dear to my alone time.  This may sound crazy to some of you who know me as a very outgoing, joyful, and spirited person who enjoys staying active and flourishes from surrounding herself with people. Though, I have a secret.  I delight in solitude and silence.  I find it essential.  That moment when all I am hearing are my thoughts and the thoughts of my Father; that, that my friends is the feeling of truly being alive.  In enjoying His company; knowing that His comfort, friendship, love, and strength is truly all I need and long for.   

For me, alone time is an opportunity to tune out all going on around me and to focus on myself.  You may be thinking that comment sounded extremely selfish.  Think about it though.  If we become so consumed with what is happening around us, we will loose site of ourselves.  Becoming of the world.  Not taking a hold of and capturing that joy and light we are to love with, each and every single day.  

When I am alone, I am who I am.  Not who others want me to be or expect me to be.  I encompass an entirely new sense of creativity and exploration.  When I journal, write, garden, crochet, play my violin, read, walk, cook, bake, clean, lounge around [seemingly doing nothing], etc... I feel good.  I feel alive.  Happy.  Not at all lonely. And that is because I let my Father captivate my heart.  My thoughts.  My actions.  My words.  And even my emotions.  

I was recently having a conversation with my dear cousin about this.  About enjoying being alone and not feeling guilty for wanting just that.  What she said made me so happy.  She mentioned how she believes that trait was passed down right from our Papa Rinne.  And dear me, that is so true.  My Papa Rinne is a strong, noble, smart, loving, hilarious, Godly man, yet he is quiet.  Enjoys his solitude.  His alone time.  Being home.  Cleaning, reading, smoking his cigar, sitting by the pool, completing crossword and sudoku puzzles, and eating butter pecan ice cream.  Seriously, he hardly ever leaves the house.  And as crazy as I use to think he was when I was younger, I admire that quality in him.  The quality of being so happy and content with simplicity.  Not needing the "things" and "comforts" of the world, yet rather delighting in his family, his alone time, and the Lord.  

This past year marks, most likely, as probably one of the craziest, most confusing, hardest, and complicated years ever.  

From broken relationships to mended ones- from one school to the next- going from living with my family to living on my own- from leaving old friends to making new ones, from dealing with new and old emotions to learning to let God control them- from new opportunities, both good and bad, to still choosing to walk in truth.   I have remained sane; level headed.  And that sanity is from trusting my Father, leaning on those around me who love me, and spending quality alone time with myself and the Lord.  Reflecting, pondering, and writing.  You see it is so important to know who you are.  To enjoy being who you are.  And to grow and let God show you who you are through Him.  

So I just encourage you all to set aside time to be alone.  Go on a walk.  Leave your phone at home.  Sit in your bed and read or be crafty.  Enjoy who you are.  Become the person you truly are.  Ask God questions about yourself and about Him; and don't be surprised when He answers you!