confidence.

  

     Who are you confident in?  

Where does your confidence come from?  

In what areas of your life is confidence expressed, and in 

what areas do you lack personal confidence?

I believe that our confidence is a reflection of the way we view ourselves as a whole.  Mentally; what we tell ourselves we are capable of.  Physically; where we believe our limits are to be.  And Spiritually; the value we place on ourselves.   

Personally, for me, the battle of the mind is the hardest.  And I have seen that reflected through my life numerous times.  I competed competitively, in the great sport of tennis, for almost 7 years.  I very much so, and still do, enjoy playing tennis.  I was in private and group lessons.  I played #1 girls singles on a USTA team for a few years and was ranked in the top 30 for girls 16&under in the state of Alabama.  With all of this said, I obviously enjoyed the sport and took it very seriously, however tennis was a complete mind game for me.  It did not matter how much skill or practice I had, I struggled each time I stepped on the court to compete.  At tournaments I would peak at the charts to see who I was playing... do my research to see their ranking... and then, before even seeing them hit a ball, I often decided at first glance of seeing them wether I was to loose or win the match against them.  Luckily I had an amazing and intuitive father who immediately saw this in me.  And each time I would come to him, pointing out the girl I was up against next, He would look at me and say something on the lines of.... "Haley, don't tell yourself you have lost... control your mind, you can win!" Or on the other hand, "You haven't won yet baby, take it one point at a time!" 

I never was one to beat myself up for loosing a game, but I very often struggled and was frustrated.  My dad and coach ended up having me read a book titled, "If I'm the better player, why can't I win." And to be completely honest, I still don't exactly know why!  I just had to control my mind stroke by stroke.  As silly as it sounds... I had complete and full {also completely off topic} conversations with myself in my head during matches.  It was something I continuously struggled with, but gradually learned to control.  But heck, still in some competitive arenas I have the same problem... ha for instance playing my dad in ping pong.  He is very good, however I've learned a lot from him over the years, and am very capable of beating him now, but I only have a small handful of times.  Because, mentally, man... the fact that he is my dad... is a whole new game of ping pong for me.  A complete mental game.  He knows it; loves it; and definitely takes advantage of it, ha! 

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On a deeper note and more importantly, I believe that the value you have for yourself comes from the Father.  It is a hard concept to grasp if you are not in relationship with Him.  Because just as love, or perseverance, or any other attribute and gift comes from the Father, I believe that you can only fully understand or have the knowledge of the extent of its meaning and worth if you first understand and know the Confidence that He has in you; as well as have that pure, trustworthy confidence in Him as well.  Without Him in your life and this understanding of Him, I think it is impossible to fully see your value and worth, and therefore have the confidence in yourself that He wants you to have.  He has unique, exciting, and amazing plans for each of our lives.  He wants us to live our lives intentionally, and with purpose.  He has blessed each of us with many talents and gifts that are to be used for His kingdom, yet often we are blinded by the reality of that because we lack the confidence in ourselves to live up to the expectations we believe come with that.  Or, some, don't believe, "God has a calling for them, or at least not more than attending church." and that statement there is a lie.  God's will for each of our lives is to first love.  To love Him and one another.  And to live and serve Him whole heatedly.  Surrendering everything to him.  Your fears, pride, relationships, job, etc.  To be a living sacrifice.  I think often people are afraid of "missions," because they are afraid of everything they love being stripped away from them, and yes, don't get me wrong, you need to surrender all to Him, but He knows your passions and dreams.  He has bestowed those upon you! And He intends for you to use those for His kingdom.  We each have a sphere of influence and we have one of two choices to make.  To either go about our daily routines and leave God on the bookshelf at home, and for church.  Or to centre our lives around Him and therefore influence and illuminate, in a pure, true, and Godly way, the lives of those around us.  You would be surprised how speaking and sharing about God and your relationship with Him come sour so naturally no matter who you are around.  Its crazy!  But think about it, when something or someone is your entire world, and your thoughts and heart are constantly fixed on just that... It is second nature to speak of His name.  

God has given me a love and passion for the outdoors.  And for intentional relationships with everyone I encounter.  He has shown me how to be confident in that!  How to be confident in the fact that He is going to use those passions to greater His kingdom.  And heck, Im so stoked to see where God takes me!  As for now though, my life is already exciting; the adventure has already began!  And it has been an extraordinary experience leaving that completely up to Him.  

//Ask God to show you your worth.  Your value.  And be CONFIDENT in who it is He has called you to be//